so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Randomize
