What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize