I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
