yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
