haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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