i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
