I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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