On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
