i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
