I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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