Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
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