You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
