windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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