Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
This is the prime rib incident all over again
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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