So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
