Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
