brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
