I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
