The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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