Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
