paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
