I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
