Non-Jews are for practice
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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