I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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