You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
im holly from the hills drunk
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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