Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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