that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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