break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
