a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
