The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He felt like a one man threesome
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
