it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
