So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
either way he was missing a nipple.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
