we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
