like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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