I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
