Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
