I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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