Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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