I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
