I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
This is the high leading the old right now
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
