i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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