I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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