Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
