Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
