no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
And then he peed in my hair
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