so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
