Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
