this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize