I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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