I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
