dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
