she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
