i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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