just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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