I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
