I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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