I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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