we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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