Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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