He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
