words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
