Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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