you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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