i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
